Tuesday, 1 April 2014

As the world implodes we all fall in to it and we can't go home...

I have just received the below, verbatim, in my inbox.

JP MORGAN CHASE BANK
7, MARKET STR, ALEXANDRIA BAY,
SY, NY 13202 USA
Tel: (315) 307-2061

FROM MR. JAMES DOTSON,

I AM MR. JAMES DOTSON, ASST. DIR, JP MORGAN CHASE BANK NY. PLEASE READ THIS MAIL CAREFULLY AND PROCEED TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT WORTH OF $19,000.000.00 PAYMENT. FOLLOWING THIS YEAR'S (2014) REVIEW OF THE GLOBAL FINANCIAL MATTERS AND JUST CONCLUDED INVESTIGATIONS BY THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION, IT IS REVEALED THAT YOUR EMAIL IS AMONG THE LIST OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER RECEIVED ANY OF THEIR PAYMENTS AMONG LOTTERY, INHERITANCE, COMPENSATION AND AWARDED CONTRACT FUNDS AND VICTIMS WHO HAVE LOST A LOT OF MONEY TO SCAMMERS WHILE TRYING TO CLAIM THEIR FUNDS. IN VIEW OF THE FOREGOING, A NEW PAYMENT OF US$19,000,000.00 HAS BEEN APPROVED IN YOUR FAVOR THEREFORE COOPERATE WITH US TO ENABLE YOU RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT WITHOUT DELEY

RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT OF $19, MILLION DOLLARS THROUGH OUR SWIFT PAYMENT CENTER AND YOU ARE INSTRUCTED FROM THE PAYMENT PANEL COMMITTEE TO FURNISH THIS OFFICE WITH THE REQUIRED INFORMATION BELOW TO ENABLE US START THE PROCESSING OF YOUR PAYMENT.

1) FULL NAME
2) ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT US TO SEND THE ATM CARD
3) PHONES
4) FAX NUMBER
5) YOUR AGE
6)  CURRENT OCCUPATION
7) ATTACH COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION

PLEASE DO PROVIDE THE ABOVE INFORMATION ACCURATELY, BECAUSE THIS OFFICE CANNOT AFFORD TO BE HELD LIABLE FOR ANY WRONG PAYMENT OF FUNDS. THANKS FOR BANKING WITH CHASE BANK WHILE WE LOOK FORWARD SERVING YOU WITH THE BEST OF OUR SERVICE.

NOTE: THOUSANDS OF FRAUDSTERS HAVE BEEN USING THIS METHOD IN SCAMMING MOST FOREIGN CREDITORS, WHICH WE HAVE IN THE PAYMENT LIST HERE IN OUR OFFICE. WE USE THIS MEDIUM TO INFORM YOU THAT ANY MAIL THAT DO NOT COME WITH THE NEW COMMUNICATION CODE: (JPMCB/FBI/EFCC/NY) IS FALSE. IN THIS CASE, YOU’RE ADVICE NOT TO RESPOND TO ANY MAIL THAT DOES NOT COME WITH THE ABOVE COMMUNICATION CODE FOR SAFETY PURPOSE.

LOOKING FORWARD TO SERVE YOU BETTER.

THANKS

I would like to say that no one falls for this but sadly but my job regularly puts me in direct contact with those that do. Come on people, the world is a scary and naughty place. This email has such awful spelling and sentences which make no sense.

A little bit of common sense on behalf of people would make this whole problem go away as if no one was replying to these things it would no longer make sense for the spammers to send them out.

*sigh*

Saturday, 15 March 2014

A gallery of the 2014 F1 noses...

...or a post with many phallic shaped aero-dynamic noses.

I've done them in the order of how nice they look - mainly because I think it'd be unfair to post up the most awful one first and frighten the millions of children that are reading...


Red Bull
The nicest looking of the noses. More platypus pic than dick pic. A nice tapered front with a slight drop down but overall a good looking nose cone.


Mercedes
A nice smooth drop down from the front of the car in to the nose section and no front bit. But a little bit of an opening makes it look way too much like a good ol' Jap's Eye.


Ferrari
The transition from body to nose is nice and smooth, wide and quite nice. It's just the end result which makes this an ugly looker and worse than the above two. It looks almost like some sad character from Creature Comforts!


McLaren
The first of the noses that are being described as 'anteater' like. Which I think is just a way of saying they look like nobs without making it NSFW. This one with it's little opening is quite stylish in some ways and then God awful in most others. I'm wondering whether if it gets fastest lap or wins the race it 'ejects' some liquid out the hole... No, too far?


Sauber
Sleek, smooth and very dick shaped. Simples!


Williams
Very similar to the McLaren's nose above with it's little 'slit' although this one is not as prominent due to the colour scheme of the car and that it has a little grille material on the front.


Force India
This one is almost saying "Oh, hi there! Nice to meet you!"


Marussia
Couldn't find many pictures of this rare beauty. It's definitely got some girth and I'm always told me it's the girth that moves the earth rather than the length so I'd guess that Marussia's nose is very pleasing!


Torro Rosso
They've changed engine supplier and also brought in this little beauty of a nose. A drooping willy.


Caterham
The poster child for all that is ugly about the 2014 cars. This car was berated on Twitter due to what can only be described as U-G-L-Y You Ugly, No Alibi! But now all cars have been revealed I don't think it's the worst. No, not at all... because...


Lotus
Oh... my... God! A two pronged affair. And not only two pronged, one is longer than the other. Almost in a "how could we make it worse than it already is?" move.

Wonder how they'll evolve over the year?

Anyways, to a great 2014!

B

It's time for the 2014 season...



So, it's time for the 2014 season of Formula One and as has been the case in the past couple of years it's split over BBC and Sky Sports F1 for how I watch online.

It appears that Navi-X which is usually my choice for streaming TV channels is not working and is down - again. Therefore I'm having to dodge the millions of banner ads of trying streams through these many 'Sport Channels for FREE' websites with their multiple pop ups, poor quality and the ever present chance that it might infect your PC like a close encounter with a lady of the night!

Anyway, to the new season and the new noise from the engines. Does it make me a traitor to say that I actually quite like the electric sound of the new drive train?

Quite possibly.

Hopefully this is going to be one hell of an exciting year even if the calls look like they've got a penis on the front of the car.


Monday, 10 March 2014

Auto awesome bed rolling...

It appears that Auto Awesome by Google will turn your photos in AA GIFs but sharing them to anything but G+ is a bit of a hassle.
Does sharing them to Blogger (another G property) via Android yield any better results?

Evelyn bed rolling!

Edit: it appears yes it does work 

A first post, about nothing.

Hi All,

So, I've succumbed to the Google overlords and created a Blogger blog. Is that the correct term? Or just I've created a Blogspot, maybe? Anyway, that aside the point of this blog is that there is no point. It's merely a place where I can put up anything that is over the 160 character Twitter spiel or something that maybe is too long for a G+ post.

So I'm guessing there will be very little here. However, you are free to read it whatever that may be or come to in time.

The good thing about Blogger over the previous self hosted Wordpress solutions I've used? I really don't have to worry about the PHP or MySQL or any of that. Plus it comes with a nice little Android app and I'm already a part of Google's Skynet eco-system.

Maybe I'll just do the usual 'tech-Dad' thing and post pictures of kids. Because I've clearly not got enough ways to do that!

Anyways - that is all!

B.